A sad day

Today was not a good day.  Attending the burial service of anyone is sad, but when the funeral is of a young man of twenty-four, it is especially sad.   He was not a family member, but in a way, he is connected to my family.  My four year old great-grandson was his god-son, and his nephew, so yes, I think he is connected to me, and I mourn his early death.  A mother can feel the pain of another mother at a graveside,  and I said to my daughters, I hope God takes me before I have to stand here burying one of you.

The day brought back a memory from my own life.   I also buried a child, and although it was nearly forty years ago,  it is as fresh in my memory as the funeral I attended this morning.  My son Stephen, was only eleven months when he died, so I did not have the twenty-four years of memories that Patrick’s family had, but to a mother it is no different if a childs life is years or months, it is your childs life.

The one good thing my Stephen’s death did for my husband and myself was to put everything else in proportion, any difficulties we had after that were judged minor, and we often would say to one another “things could be a lot worse, and have been”

I remember an older woman in the terrace, telling me at the time, “you will go to your grave with that child fresh in your mind” and it is so true.  Although most of my children are now middle-aged, I still have a baby in my heart.

As I stood at a graveside today, watching a mother and father grieve, I mourned with them for their child, for my child and for every other parents child.  Nothing else in life is more unnatural than parents burying children.


About margaretmarymurphy

I'm an elderly woman (1 husband 6 children 15 grandchildren & 1 great grandson ) I love talking, writing, looking at art & I take a porcelein painting class & can't for the day I get my own kiln.
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4 Responses to A sad day

  1. Very sad Margaret. I too attended the funeral of a young 25 year old on Friday. I wrote a blog about it too you might like to read it. I too buried a child so we have something in common. It’s not normal to bury a child it makes all other problems minor.


  2. It’s difficult to say ‘thanks’ to you margaret when the topic is so heart breakingly tragic. But thanks for putting some perspective on things for me today. I’ve been feelin’ like shite all day coz two colleagues of mine were let go from work, and I wait for the sword of Democles to fall my way shortly. But no one died in my workplace today. We hurt, but we carry on. Poignant and very valid insight in life there Margaret. 🙂

    • Thanks Ann Marie, I am sorry to hear of the threat of unemployment hanging over you. I know no one died, but it is still important in the economic climate we live in that you keep your livilhood, will have my fingers crossed for you, but in my opinion, they would be mad to let a journalist like you go, you have such a wonderful turn of phrase. Margaret xx

  3. joanne says:

    As a mammy to four boys my heart breaks for you….a great fear for any parent… i see my own mammy-in-law grapple with this even though her baby was 51 and one of my best friends but the un naturalness of the loss the unbearable grief is etched on her heart….thanks fir sharing much love and light jo aka…@jnvetnurse

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